[NPMUG] Microsoft to open retail stores

[Charles Firth]

A funny look at how MS would handle a retail store:

http://www.pcworld.com/article/159521/10_ways_microsofts_retail_stores_will_differ_from_apple_stores.html

10 Ways Microsoft's Retail Stores Will Differ From Apple Stores
Here are some whimsical predictions for the retail store Microsoft has  
announced will open soon.
Brennon Slattery, PC World
Friday, February 13, 2009 07:20 AM PST
Microsoft announced plans to open retail stores, hoping to boost  
visibility of many of its products and its brand. The move seems to be  
an effort to mimic the success that Apple has had with its retail  
stores. The news is just too tempting not to have some fun with. So  
here are some yet-to-be-officially-revealed details about the  
Microsoft stores.


1) Instead of Apple's sheer walls of glass, Microsoft's stores will  
have brushed steel walls dotted with holes -- reminiscent of Windows  
security.


2) The store will have six different entrances: Starter, Basic,  
Premium, Professional, Enterprise, and Ultimate. While all six doors  
will lead into the same store, the Ultimate door requires a fee of  
$100 for no apparent reason.

3) Instead of a "Genius Bar" (as Apple provides) Microsoft will offer  
an Excuse Bar. It will be staffed by Microsofties trained in the art  
of evading questions, directing you to complicated and obscure fixes,  
and explaining it's a problem with the hardware -- not a software bug.


4) The Windows Genuine Advantage team will run storefront security,  
assuming everybody is a thief until they can prove otherwise.


5) Store hours are undetermined. At any given time the store  
mysteriously shuts down instantaneously for no apparent reason. (No  
word yet on what happens to customers inside).


6) Stores will be named Microsoft Live Retail Store with PC Services  
for Digital Lifestyle Enthusiasts.


7) Fashioned after Microsoft's User Account Control (UAC) in Vista,  
sales personnel will ask you whether you're positive you want to  
purchase something at least twice.


8) Xbox 360 section of the store will be organized in a ring -- which  
will inexplicably go red occasionally.


9) DreamWorks will design a scary in-store theme park ride called  
"blue screen of death."


10) Store emergency exits will be unlocked at all times so people can  
get in anytime they want even if the front doors are locked.


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